Welcome Aboard Ruby The Retford Belle!
...and what shiny apples she has...
Why have the bus companies taken to naming the buses(?) If the travellers cannot remember the route number, which in the photo is 19b then how are they going to remember the name of the bus given the route(?) Worst yet, the bus has left the Bassetlaw area though it is still sporting all the decals. Worse still, there is something wrong when a bus welcomes you aboard Ruby... I felt as though I should have been in a upper-class brothel, with splendid manners and etiquette.
That aside, I love public transport. For the most part, you don't have to worry about any of the driving annoyances, such as other drivers, etc. Just sit back, chat with friends, read a book, text friends, or blog.
Though, more and more it's become a chore for my olfactory sense.
What is it with retired men that now no longer think acquainting their sagging flesh with soap and water, and then antiperspirant and deodorant is a good thing... a necessary thing. Let alone going to the toilet and shaking the piss off their dicks before putting them back into their month-long worn underpants.
I sat down on Ruby today (still doesn't sound right) and the sun burned through her windows, bathing me in glorious heat. Well, it was glorious until I realised it was cooking the stench on the man in front of me... a dark pungent smell of grime and sweat. As I looked at the back of his head I notice the dirt mark where his neck graced his collar. As the heat grew the smell permeated the air more.
Then at the next stop, another old bloke got on and sat behind me.
The first thing which assailed my nostrils was his choice of aftershave/deodorant - A mix of beer, whisky, and brandy. This fellow sure had a good afternoon. Once again, as Ruby pulled off (that sounds worse), the sun's heat started to bake the man behind me. At first, I was surprised his cologne didn't ignite in the sunlight as he was giving off fumes. Then the sickly sweet stench of his Eau de toilette hit me like a slap in the face. This was more toilet than toilet water, though.
So for the rest of the lovely journey, I slowed my breathing, trying so hard not to attract the musty and sickening fragrances to my nose.
I was so relieved and satisfied when I got off Ruby (really doesn't sound right), that I stood for a minute or so and just breathed in the fumes from the passing cars, lorries, and buses. Oh, those beautiful sweet smells of heavy traffic.
My time on Ruby was not a pleasant one thanks to the two old buggers. Though this phenomenon isn't just confined to the old men, it appears to be becoming fashionable in old women too, though not to such a degree. And a few months back there was a Twenty-something man who was well dressed with coiffured hair and beard, he too mas making the same stinky statement.
Come on people, get civilised and think about your surroundings and the people who share those surroundings with you. At least use soap and water... at least water...
And if you're out for a bevvy or two, then imbibe the beverage... DONT wear it!
Make this a nicer world for the people and their snotters...
Next time I climb aboard Ruby I want it to be an excellent and invigorating and pleasant ride.
HI-HO RUBY AWAY!!!
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